The days of command and control leadership are long gone. Today’s workplace requires leaders at all levels to engage, inspire and provide ongoing developmental feedback.

When you shift from directing, controlling and micro-managing to guiding, supporting and encouraging, you’ll find you gain a more committed team.

Here are some quick coaching tips that you can start implementing immediately, from the new book The Culture Solution, by best-selling author Matthew Kelly.

Make every interaction with your direct reports count.
Teach them something you learned in your career. Tell them a story about how you failed at something and what you learned. Show them one specific way they can become better in their roles.

Model a growth mindset.
Be open to any feedback you receive from supervisors, peers and your own staff. Invite your people to bring your attention to ways in which you can grow as a leader.

Students don’t give teachers homework.
Don’t let your team bring half-finished work for you to finesse. Coach them on what needs improving and have them try, again and again, if necessary, until they get it right. It’s not your role to do their work.

Ready to be a better leader than the one who walked in the door this morning?

Let’s go from head to toe, stem to stern, with your nine point leadership tune-up.

1. Your voice: Chances are you’re not entirely aware of the vocal patterns that define you and register in people’s minds when you speak. For one week, use your smartphone to record some random thoughts at the end of each day. Listen closely to your recordings and note any negative speech patterns or inflections that may be working against you.

2. Your style: No one knows quite how to feel about the boss who dresses completely unlike everyone else. There may be better ways to stand out at work. A safe bet is to follow the crowd while adding a single memorable flourish. A unique accessory, a statement bag, a stylish notebook, an eye-catching watch—these are the details that set you apart.

3. Your sign-off: Ditch the clever tagline you append to your email signature. Those you interact with frequently are sick of seeing it; others may think you’re trying too hard.

4. Your show: Don’t serve as a weak servant to your PowerPoint slides. Consider a new approach: don’t bring in any visuals whatsoever until you’re at least 20% into a presentation. Remember that you’re the main attraction, not words and graphics on a screen.

5. Your schmooze: If you tend to huddle with your own colleagues at industry events, it’s time to build some connections. Come prepared with a simple opening line that demands a bit of detail so that the conversation flows immediately. Try “I’m curious… what prompted you to come to this seminar/ luncheon/cocktail party?” and follow up with “And are you feeling good about your decision so far?” Keep the tone light and humorous and be prepared to respond in kind.

6. Your authenticity: Always have a failure story in your back pocket to inspire and amuse. A true tale of personal or professional misadventure lends you humility, displays a sense of humour, tells people you learn from your mistakes, and exudes honesty.

7. Your presence:  Putting your cell phone down when you enter a meeting will instantly make you more present, more aware and more engaged. Show the group you’re ready to focus on the matter at hand, not falling behind on your emails.

8. Your walk: If you’re in the habit of racing around the office, looking stressed, try slowing down to a more confident stroll. A relaxed stride and a genuine smile instantly makes you look more in control… like all your fires have been put out and you’re on top of your game.

9. Your image: Think how many times people see your professional head shot online. Take a minute to review it now. Is it up to date? Does the pose look natural… or forced? Do you look like someone who’s authentic, modern and in the driver’s seat?

Adapted from Business Management Daily. Reprinted with permission.

I was driving to a party the other day, when I got a phone call with the dreaded last-minute request…

“I was thinking someone should make a toast this evening. Will you do it?”

As a coach and long-time marketing executive, I’ve done a lot of public speaking in my career. Professionally, I have no problem presenting to crowds, large or small.

So why do impromptu addresses… toasts, birthday party speeches, eulogies, etc. seem so much more intimidating?

Here’s why I struggle with these requests.

1. They’re more personal. The stakes seem higher – and the objectives, less clear.

2. You rarely get time to prepare. It’d be nice if people called a week in advance to ask if you’d do a toast. But how often does that happen?

3. There are no visuals to share the spotlight. Bringing up written notes (or worse, index cards) for a personal toast looks (and feels!) like amateur hour.

Many of my friends and family members are introverted, so I get more than my share of requests for spontaneous remarks.

Here’s what I’ve found works in these situations.

Don’t write down your speech.

This may seem counterintuitive, but written remarks sound… well, written. Most of us don’t speak the way that we write.

Instead, craft your remarks… orally.

Practice saying them. Out loud. In your car. To the cat. While walking around the block. Or, at the very least, in your head.

Stick to anecdotes.

Think of one or two anecdotes that sum up why this person is special – or warrants acknowledgement. Anecdotes are easy to follow – and easier to remember than a list of random accolades. Funny or touching anecdotes are sure-fire winners. It doesn’t matter if you tell the story perfectly. Everyone loves a good anecdote.

Nail the beginning… and the end.

You’ll be most nervous when you first stand up to make a speech. All eyes will be on you and you don’t want to be fumbling for words at that point. Make your first sentence memorable and unexpected – and then memorize that opening line until you can deliver it in your sleep.

The same goes for the final sentence or two. The best speeches end on a polished note. Don’t peter out. Be sure to nail the dismount with a strong call to action… or a heartfelt thank-you.

Live with the silence for a beat or two.

Don’t race into your speech the minute the room quiets down. Give people a second or two to settle and mentally prepare to listen. You’ll create a sense of anticipation if you make people wait before you start speaking. Trust me, this two seconds will feel longer for you than it will for them.

Pause, smile and then hit them with something unexpected… and you’ll be off to a great start.

Cheers – and remember that practice makes perfect. With any luck, the wine won’t be the only thing sparkling the next time you take centre stage!

Every so often, when you’re looking the other way, the universe dishes up a giant serving of awesome. 

This week, I had the tremendous good fortune of being invited to see a taping of Oprah’s “Life Class”.  

9000 (yes!) die-hard Oprah fans lined up for hours to gain access to this event at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. 

Fortunately for me, my host had VIP tickets for the taping, so we were able to bypass most of the four-hour wait time to get in.

The auditorium was massive… with rows of seats that went so far back, I couldn’t even see to the end.  

Incredibly, our seats were 10 rows from the stage.

And, striding on stage, like a warrior goddess, was the Big O herself. She looked stunning.

Somewhere above me, I could feel the spirit of my late mother looking down. And TOTALLY. FREAKING. OUT. 

Oprah has assembled some truly amazing teachers. Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, Iyanla Vanzant and Reverend T.J. Jakes are wise, thoughtful and incredibly gifted communicators.  

Each teacher gave an individual presentation for 30-45 minutes… then they each appeared in a segment with Oprah as part of the taped “Life Class” program.  

The individual presentations were awe-inspiring. I probably had more “aha” moments in the four hours I spent at this event than I’d experienced in 16 years at school. I wish everyone could audit this class.

I jotted down many quotes throughout the evening. A few that stood out for me were:

1. Forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself.

2. Do what you did at the beginning of your relationship – and it may never end.  

3. The only difference between the CEO and the janitor… the happy and the suicidal… are the thoughts that they think.

4. Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.

Simple, powerful stuff. Thanks, Oprah. xo

I’ve been schooled.